Thank You Universe.

Sometimes when you kick and scream, and throw in a whine, the universe will will budge and let you have exactly what you want.

Since I was a little girl, I knew I would love to have a place to go to where I could be alone. Alone to be just me; not a sister, daughter, friend or lover. Just me. A place I could escape to and do exactly as I please without fearing to offend. Not all the time of course but at that exact point I need it; I would like to get up and leave when it pleases me.

Where does that leave the ones I love?

Hopefully right where I leave them when I sneak off to love me a little.

Why does my going away imply not liking you anymore? It shouldn't. Why don't you see it the way I do? A time to go re-fill so I can come back and enjoy you fully. Enjoy you more confidently.

I was at pains to explain this to a friend of mine. A weekend alone means grieving to her. Not at all. A weekend away may mean just that; a weekend away. A weekend to enjoy me. To remember me. To enjoy me.

Narcissistic? You think? I don't, and that's all that matters right now.

Bottle of wine (couldn't afford my favorite whiskey), random Fm station (too lazy to carry my DVD player here), and the internet. Who am I to complain? I'm actually liking this.

How many times do I get time to myself like this? Can't remember the last time I was alone in the true sense of alone. One might argue the Fm station and internet are not really 'alone' but compared to the constant and direct human interaction of the last few months, this feels like alone to me.

It wasn't easy getting this little time alone. I didn't even see what the universe was doing until now!

Thank you dear Universe. Thank you.